I think I’m going to have to go into the toilet.
I know I’m not going to be able to keep going, and I’m just thinking, This is just so depressing.
I have a little feeling I may need a nap.
The whole time I’m thinking about it, I’m like, What are we going to do?
There’s a lot of people in my life who have had to take drastic measures to survive in the face of death.
For me, it’s not just about the amount of pain and suffering that I’m suffering.
I’m in a situation where I’m losing my job.
I don’t know how long I’m gonna be here.
It’s just a constant struggle, and at the end of the day, it sucks.
But what I’m really thinking about is my parents.
I think about them constantly.
I just feel like I’m living a lie.
I hate myself.
And I’m afraid to say anything.
I feel like we’re being punished for our actions.
My parents know I have this problem.
I can’t say anything to them.
It just makes it worse.
My mom has been dealing with this issue for about a year, and she’s been on a lot.
I’ve never had any serious medical issues.
I guess it’s just not something that can be dealt with in the same way.
My dad has been working as a paramedic for about 20 years.
He’s been helping out, but it’s tough.
He comes home from work at 11 p.m. and he doesn’t come home for three months.
My sister, who I was supposed to be with, was supposed, but she just moved away.
And my mom has gotten a job in the field.
I still don’t really know what to do.
I haven’t done anything to stop them.
I mean, it just feels like everything is against me.
My aunt was a waitress.
She’s my sister’s cousin, and now she’s not working.
I never thought she would have to do this.
But my aunt is the one that told me to go to the police.
My cousin had a girlfriend.
She said, “You don’t have to.”
So I went to the cops.
The first day they brought me in, I was just like, Oh my god, I didn’t know.
It was really hard.
I didn, like, think about it.
Then they sent me to jail.
I went there the next day, and it was a really long day.
It felt like forever.
I was scared, I had so much anger, and they were telling me, “We don’t need you anymore.”
But I just felt so relieved.
I knew I was doing something right.
The police told me that I didn and that they would take me into custody.
It took me almost two days to get my shit together.
I started by taking a shower.
I felt really good.
Then I went and saw my father.
He was pretty upset.
He told me, My daughter told me I’m being punished.
I thought it was bullshit, but I still wanted to say something.
My father’s not like a big fan of this.
He said, I just thought you should just go ahead and say what you want.
I said, No, Dad.
I really don’t want to be punished.
But he was like, No.
It’ll be over soon.
I had a good conversation with my father about it afterwards.
He had my mom on his phone.
I told him, I don´t know what happened to you, but that was the first time I saw him angry.
He started crying.
And he started saying, No one in the family is going to take care of you.
I couldn’t believe it.
He couldn’t understand what I was saying.
I asked, What about me?
He told us, We’ll just get you a lawyer.
And we went to court the next morning.
The next day I had my first court date.
I hadn’t been in a courtroom for four years.
The judge was sitting there, and he started crying, too.
He thought I was trying to be a hero and he just started crying for three minutes.
Then the judge said, You’ve got to tell us what you said, or we’re going to throw you in jail.
So I told them, I’ve told you everything, and you know what?
The judge looked at me and said, This case is not about your family.
It is about your own life.
My family is my life.
They’re my family.
I’ll tell you what, the only reason you can’t be punished is because I don